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The stuffed animals known as The Care Bears first made their debut in 1982 by the company Kenner – the same company who manufactured The Real Ghostbusters and the Star Wars toys. Kenner was purchased by Hasbro back in 2000, and now Hasbro holds the license for The Care Bears (sometimes I do question what a bear license entails). All the bears in this review belong to my wife Adrienne who has been a fan of Care Bears since childhood.
A card purchased using the Care Bears branding from American Greetings.
A vintage Care Bears card from American Greetings. The toys were adapted from these drawings.
Not long back, my wife Adrienne and I went on one of our signature road trip vacations and just finished dinner. We decided to go to a Goodwill store, but upon arriving at the store we were somewhat disappointed, although not surprised, to see the store had a closing time of nine. It was eight fifty at night. Normally, we do everything we can to not come off as “those people”, but in this instance, we decided to go through the door anyway. We did see a good amount of customers still standing around so the workers’ anger would be softened.
For its target audience, it remains one of the most intense movies for children. The Care Bears Movie is expectedly scary in portions, making note that children who grew up in the 80s is not for the weak. Of course, it is not as ruthless as The Transformers: The Movie where they end up killing Optimus Prime. What could possibly be more traumatizing than that?
The Care Bear Movie was done by the animation studio Nelvana which was responsible for the winning an Emmy for the cartoon Beetlejuice. The movie centers on a sad friendless boy named Nicholas, who happens to be an assistant to Fettuccini a magician in a carnival.
One day, Fettuccini brings a whole trunk full of junk into their trailer and hopes to use the contents in the act (He must have won a storage auction). Fettuccini tells Nicholas to look at the trunk, and Nick, being a klutzy moron, instantly drops it. Fettuccini gets quite peeved, but no corporal punishment is suffered by Nicholas because this is a G rated movie.
Nicholas states his problems as no one likes him, which neatly allows him to begin his story arc. I am choosing not to include certain details in this article because the Care Bears movie is so worthwhile, in fact, a specific model of Casio worth my attention.
Nicholas opens the trunk to unveil what I believe to be a modification of the Necronomicon from the Evil Dead series – a strange book. Since the Evil Dead had four years of prior release who knows?
Charmed by a sincere feminine voice hypnotically luring him, Nicholas obediently unlocks the book. Upon opening, the disembodied head of Sinéad O’Connor greets him.
Numerous headless paranormal creatures exist – each with their own unique charm. One such creature capably convinces Nicholas to take control of the magic show by paralyzing Fettuccini. Nick is then made to look foolish in front of his peers. Upon laughing, the head commands him to use magic on the audience, who instantly look like meth addicts and start fighting like crazy! At no point does the spirit of the book have any intentions. She purely enjoys acting like a nuisance and, to be honest, I can understand that.
But the feelings of hatred aren’t only defined by the idiots dumb enough to sit through Nick’s magic show. That book spirit will not rest until humanity as we know it suffers! And Nicholas? He is only willing to pay back the town that cast him aside. Spoiler alert! He wants absolutely nothing to do with the master plan everyone else has come up with. Yet, all men know, women tend to persuade quite well. Things on earth get so bad that even Care-a-Lot; the home of the Care Bears, is starting to feel the impact. When the caring meter drops to a worldly low that is comparable to Detroit, Care-a-Lot will simply cease to exist.
Prompted arguably more by self-preservation than love, The Care Bears join forces with The Care Bears Cousins (some random animals) as they travel to Earth in a bid to stop the chaos. (And by chaos I mean chaos. To put it lightly, people are furious!)
The Care Bears Movie is one of many ’80s animated films designed to advertise a newly released product. At one of the many songs that were part of the presentation, all the adorable animals walk across the screen, and the procession appears to be infinite! I can only imagine how many parents were forced to support Kay-Bee Toys immediately after watching the movie.
The Care Bear Cousins
The most memorable thing that comes to mind in relation to The Care Bears Movie is the song “You Make Me” by “Weird Al” Yankovic from the album Even Worse. I have had the tape for many years and together with Dare to be Stupid and In 3D, it is one of my favorites. Fast forward the video below to 1:28 for the shout out!
Despite some genuinely disturbing scenes, The Care Bears Movie is mostly sweet and cuddly and there is nothing bad about that.
My appreciation for The Care Bears Movie doesn’t take anything away from my enjoyment of features with mutant slugs, aliens with mullets, or pre-teens who kill Dracula. Writer Luke Worle of Retro Injection claimed that he had The Care Bears Movie at the now non-existent Colonial Theatre back in 1985. I’m a little envious.
The trailer captures the most thrilling adventure for Care Bears ever. This was as a result of the television series that was airing. Take a look at the colorization mistake made on Friend Bear’s mouth that should be white, as it is a few seconds later. Care Bears Movie is by far the worst multitasking film in the 80s, it has so many coloring smudges. The only sad part about this film is that it is one hour and sixteen minutes long. It indicates a rushed production, but I’m sure that kids didn’t pay attention to that during my days.
I would recommend Care Bears Movie. It is not Akira, but every now and then the film would make you warm and fuzzy. Just like a bear.
Here is a card that Adrienne and I, decorated on a break at Five Guys somewhere around March of 2016, roughly three months before the wedding. She changed it to “Care Bears” after I’d written, “Calorie.”
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