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Drake’s rating: And one two ‘step kick, step kick’ and pivot turn!
Drake’s review: I’ve been on quite the roll when it comes to movies this last while. I’ve managed to catch quite a few silent pictures, a pre-code melodrama, an 80’s teen romcom, and a Hong Kong gun-fu movie. Not bad for the year’s start! But, like caramel corn or cold November rain, and unlike the agitation that Justin experiences whenever I upload a new review of a silent movie on his email, it just wasn’t meant to last. But sometimes you have to take a bet don’t you? It’s not like you can never assume that something titled Future Kick is going to be below average. Can you?
Well, the New Concorde logo at the start did give me a hint, and I would have pressed the stop button at that moment but my cat decided to take the chance and swat the remote off the table and under the couch, and then stared at me and innocently blinked his eyes and strolled away to go sleep. So it was either find the remote and search for it under the couch, or let the movie play. I picked the lazier option even though it likely was not the smartest one.
By the year 2025, Earth is in disarray. The richest group of humans have escaped to the moon, which keeps them entertained by allowing them to virtually play games while living a life of luxury, which makes everything that is taking place below suffer immensely. Taking over global control, corporations have gained heavy influence over the government by building cyber humans known as Cybertowns to enforce their rules. Unfortunately, once the cybertowns recognized that it was the corporations that were in fact the criminals, they were subsequently captured and destroyed by the corporate police. As expected, the costs of these software programs have been passed down to the consumers, all to ensure that the shareholders are protected.
Walker (Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Batman Forever) is one of the Cyberons, but don’t think he’s a softy. In fact, he sideswipes the corporate cops who try to arrest him. And to be fair, this is 2025, so he future-sideswipes them. As a bounty hunter, Walker gets himself in trouble with a corporate plot that seeks to harvest body parts and this I crime sets him into contact with Nancy (Meg Foster, They Live) whose husband was murdered while looking into these crimes. He also comes into conflict with the perpetrators themselves. Hyne (Eb Lottimer) is a wannabe Wolverine with a strange three bladed knife because one blade is never enough and Bang (Chris Penn, Footloose).
So you can expect some shooting, a car chase or two, lots of punches thrown and an extra healthy dose of kicking. Not just normal kicking mind you, but future kicking.
Every scene of Future Kick is set at night, and all characters wear sunglasses regardless of the dark setting. The movie is back lit with blue light to emphasize the cyberpunk future style of the 90s. As a Roger Corman production, footage and settings from other movies in his collection are incorporated as filler, resulting in a runtime of 72 minutes. Still, Future Kick is a movie that requires patience. The sole attraction of the feature is Don Wilson’s incredible skills in martial arts. Don Wilson, the true kickboxing superstar, was a B category film star in the 1990s. This film is just a part of the endless string of martial arts movies he appeared in. Most people do not know this, but Wilson is a better martial artist than an actor. With that being said, he was still able to embody characters with a subtle yet calming assertiveness that was captivating on screen.
It can be argued with justification that Wilson’s contribution had a positive influence on this Future Kick. He is correct in that the martial arts segments deserve a watch, although I do not blame you for thinking it is best to skip the lengthy parts between the fight scenes. For that matter, I would have done the same for my taste served the remote not been lodged under the couch. I guess I ought to try to salvage it out but then again it might just be less of a hassle to get a different one.
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