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It is strange that a movie that seeks to entertain its audience fails to play “Monster Mash” during the end credits. There have been many films that brought together two monsters, like “Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man” and “King Kong vs. Godzilla,” but “Van Helsing” gathers together Frankenstein and his Monster, Count Dracula, the Wolf Man, is Igor Van Helsing the vampire hunter, along with other wolves, bats, vampires, and even Mr. Hyde as a bonus who thinks he is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Like a collage of pop songs that vaguely fit each other, this movie revolves around a potpourri of disjointed plots. The animation looks as though there was a mix of C.G.I with classic styles of Frankenstein’s monster, too. The movie’s story centers around Dracula needing to uncover the reason why there is a Frankenstein’s monster to begin with as it is the only explanation that would allow him to bring life to his countless offspring. After all, all his children cannot be born to the live ones because both he and his wives are vampires and dead.
It’s curious that they even give birth to begin with. The process is unimaginably strange. Dead offspring dangle from the ceiling encased in cocoons that are reminiscent of bagworms, which I personally plucked from evergreens as a child under the supervision of my father.
Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman, known for the X-Men movies) has the traits of a younger and older person in the Dracula films. He portrays a modern day monster slayer complete with a Phantom of the Opera hat, and has a devoted friar named Carl (David Wenham) as a sidekick. Van Helsing’s first task is to find Mr. Hyde (Robbie Coltrane) who now resides at the Notre Dame cathedral and goes out for murder. Not every job ends as anticipated, and in this case, Van Hellsing is sent to the Vatican City for guidance, after which he receives cool new gadgets like a modern day James Bond but with a religious twist.
Next destination is Transylvania where a local mob is shown waving pitchforks and burning torches while chasing Frankenstein’s monster into a windmill which is then set ablaze. This is how the movie opens. Knowing that he survives, we also know how old films work. Regardless, it is still neccessary to state how ferocious the mob has gotten because by the time Van Helsing and Carl show up in the village, they are nearly forked and burnt to death. What changes their fate is getting attacked by three flying vampiresses who pick up their victims followed by flying off to relish their blood. Van Helsing fights them with a device that shoots arrows like a machine gun.
This brings us to his encounter with the beautiful Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale), the final slayer of the 9 generations along with her brother Velkan (Will Kemp). The siblings are sentenced to roam the earth for centuries until they kill Dracula. As expected, once he is dead, all the vampires he transformed will die too. Anna did not trust Van Helsing at first, but she shed all suspicions when they agreed on seeking vengeance together. The rest of the movie has a lot of complex details which I will let you figure out on your own.
I also enjoyed how the movie recreated Victor Frankenstein’s laboratory, which has fascinated production designers, art directors, and set decorators since forever (Just like how Mel Books’ \”Young Frankenstein\” reused the actual sets built for James Whale’s “The Bride of Frankenstein”). Here Frankenstein lives in a massive gothic castle, The Dracula’s castle is not far away, and the mechanism hoists the Monsters to jaw-breaking heights to blast him with lightning. And there are lots of lavish and deeply hidden cemetaries and tunnels, and a library with a painting that turns on its axis, most likely in homage to Brooks’ revolving bookcase.
Sommers’ script has some laughter packed in, but not a lot; the best bits are the understated ones, such as when the friar begs off from going to accompany Van Helsing (“But I’m not a field man.” He claims). Or when the Monster is rather surprisingly says the 23rd Psalm.
In the beginning, there is a concern that Sommers is just going for a bombardment of special effects, but somehow, he manages to pull all the threads of plot and his monsters into an explosive finale. “Van Helsing” is laughable, grand, and entertaining.
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