The Real Bruce Lee (1977)

The-Real-Bruce-Lee-(1977)
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Bruce Lee, like all other martial art masters, had a gritty range that stood him apart from the rest, was effective in pulling off a trick or two: having a unique branding that appealed to a mass audience, and one of them was killing with his moves. In his essay titled ‘Is It Real?’, filmmaker Hound’s Golden Movie Retriever talks about how Lee managed to assemble more than two dozen credits. This is impressive given the fact that the man only featured in a handful of films. After his untimely demise in 73, the controversy following Bruce’s death sparked hoards of uninspired films, like the docudrama ‘Pronounced Fuhst Ova’ and ‘Fist of Fear and Touch of Death’, as well as the incomplete biopic ‘We Miss You’ and the oddly superbly named ‘Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave’:

Or is it Memory? Like every other notion spawned from Lee’s fame, we also witnessed a tiresome stream of imitation figures flooding the scene. Bruce Li, Lai, Thai, Gon Lee, Lee – Press on nails, Richard Lee, and of course, Bronson Lee were just a few of the eager wannabes with no clue on how to brand these unbelievably useless products. Regardless, someone had the bright concept of marrying a few of these impersonators, and this is the final product. Nice notion but expected flimsy outcome.

First of all, let’s give some context. Bruce Lee is? You can tell because he’s wearing Bruce Lee sunglasses, which ‘my favourite part of Bruce Lee, We Miss You‘ was a movie that we adored. Maybe the best part for me was the Lee-alike’s hyper-violent, convulsive, thrashing defeat in the last scene. The one where the sunglasses stayed firmly in place. He was in an ambulance for a gurn. Thank goodness they didn’t take the glasses off or I’d have to wonder who was on that gurn. Was it Bruce Lee?

By the time Lee had suffered his cardiac arrest and was declared dead, Mr. Collin, who, as far as I can tell, was the head of the Special Branch of Investigations (as we’ll now call the SBI), and the Professor, who, without the emergency room staff or Lee’s family’s permission, was in the process of drawing some blood from Lee’s body. My personal view? The SBI has a lot more discretionary power than anyone suspected and is granted, which may cause Heart Attack Prevention Research Center folks to blush.

The Professor uses the blood to make three Bruce Lee clones, Bruce Lee One, Bruce Lee Two, and, due to a stroke of baffling creativity, Bruce Lee Three. Presumably, they are numbered in terms of how closely they resemble the deceased movie star, with One (Dragon Lee, I think) being the only one with a hope and Three (Bruce Lai, again I think) not getting a chance on even the darkest of stormy nights. Strangely, the Professor conditions each of the clones to only obey him.

After some rigorous training (for example, one of the teachers is Bolo Yeung, who the real Lee stomped in Enter the Dragon), the Lees are judged back up to snuff and the SBI begin to send them on missions. This is where we start getting into the real meat of Clones of Bruce Lee. The first Bruce Lee was sent on an undercover assignment to the film studio of Chi Lo, a gold smugger (how heinous!) You do have to question the wisdom of sending the clone of a well known film star a to work undercover in a film studio, but then you realise that the clone does not really look that much like the original…

Regardless, we see him again. The “new boy” at the studio is slowly making his presence known on screen as evidenced by the fact that he is now seen on camera sending some stuntmen flying against a rather horrible sky cyclorama. Chi Lo, however, is the paranoid type and tells The Director to “get rid of him”. So, they send the hired assassins White Panther and Quick Tiger over, who are just two white guys that get beaten up rather quickly. This White Panther gentleman appears to have made his name by literally taking the gi off of any white dude he can lay his eyes on. It’s the only version of the traditional robe one is only expected to see in dojos or martial arts tournaments. Suffice to say, it makes him look odd on the street.

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