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The comedic “Dukes of Hazzard” follow two cousins, who are as close as brothers, and their car, which is smarter than they are. It is a re-do of a sitcom that aired from about 1979-1985, a period during which I was able to look for better ways to spend my time. Yes, it is still another program from the enormous catalogue of shows I have never ever watched. I have this long list, and it shows why I am to this day still very smart and happy.
The film features Johnny Knoxville, ‘Jackass’ star, who performs alongside ‘American Weddig’ actor Seann William Scott and ‘Mars’ actress Jessica Simpson. Based on her recent chat with Dean Richards, Simpson strikes me as flat out brainless, so perhaps she ought to sue the public schools of Abilene, Texas – or perhaps they should sue her instead? Not few could declare, as she did, that they had no idea who Lance Armstrong was, and one of them was me on the day he captured his seventh Tour de France.
Needless to say, no one is required to have common sense to get into ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ – but do former actor’s and singer Willie Nelson and Burt Reynolds really need to be that dumb? This is a new, old, silly rip-off that is supposedly about two hicks who drive their 1969 Dodge Charger, also known as General Lee, around the backroads of the South. Well, it turns out I had a 1969 Dodge Charger too. You can distinguish the two because mine lacked a Confederate flag painted on the roof.
Scott and Knoxville portray Bo Duke and Luke Duke, and not having a Puke Duke is a real shame. They transport moonshine produced by their Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson) and hope to outstrip Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane (M.C. Gainey) by depending on the General for speed. The picture has one of those obligatory moments of any car chasing sequence where they cut to show a massive Mack truck angrily barreling towards them, its horn blasting. They swerve out of the way at the very last second. That Mack truck stays busy in the films, appearing again and again in chase sequences barely missing the vehicle with the protagonists, but this is the first time I’ve seen it racing down a single-lane dirt road at sixty miles an hour.
Simpson portrays Daisy Duke, who is notorious for wearing short shorts on the TV show “The Dukes of Hazzard,” which were called “Daisy Dukes”. Simpson wears the shorts to a certain degree in some of her scenes, but she is absent in most of the movie. Perhaps she is not even intelligent enough to don shorts. According to the Internet, Simpson owns a dog named Daisy, but I have yet to find out if she came up with the name prior to being cast in the movie, and whether the dog’s name is an allusion to the character, the flower, the shorts, or god forbid, Daisy Duck.
In the local area, the ruler is called as Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg, played by Burt Renoylds, “the meanest man in Hazzard County ”, He gives orders to the Sheriff and everyone else, and has a secret plan to strip-mine the county. I sometimes think that perhaps Reynolds at some point turmed wondered whether this movie was the second half of what “Smokey and the Bandit” the first half of.
The film features several moments where the General speeds down side roads and jumps over ditches and rivers, all while somehow managing to keep the moonshine bottles intact. Certainly, if you’ve watched a maximum of 12 scenes of cars soaring through the air, you do not wish to see an additional 12 more.
There is a NASCAR race in the movie, and the dialogue regarding car sponsorship is rather funny. The film does take place in modern times, as one of the car sponsors aside from Castrol and Coke is Yahoo! I have remembered one of the endless lines from the movie which had a charity that is collecting money for ‘one of the bifidas.’ Also, I was delighted to hear about, The Al Unser Jr. story, an audiobook that was introduced to us by Lawrence Fishburne.
Unfortunately, this movie does have one distasteful part of which would not work in modern day comedy. Bo and Luke get into an unfortunate accident that leaves their faces covered with soot. They then happen to drive into an African American neighborhood where some hostile youths surround their vehicle. They don’t seem to appreciate the use of blackface as well as the Confederate flag on the car. And, I thought the boyz n the hood were going to steal the General, which would have been a nice different take on the story, but sadly, the scene wallows in its own sadness.
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