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If I Can’t Have You… is a comedy horror movie produced by Peter Poulos together with Matthew Santia, for whom Todd Calvin De Pew co-wrote the film. This movie is very intelligent and the performances are quite vibrant. It is always entertaining, no matter how silly, nonsensical, or even dark it becomes.
The narrative follows Diane (Tennille Taraszkiewicz), a psychotherapist, along with her friends and family. For instance, let’s look at Barb (Mandy Logsdon), her sister that is obsessed with slasher movies and believes that Diane lives in a world where she must always be ready to face. And it does not help that her ex-patient is stalking her.
Along with this, there is also Austin (Brian Boynton), a new patient who wants more from the therapeutic relationship than just therapy and has his own issues to deal with, along with Diane’s son, who is finishing up a decade long prison sentence for murdering his father.
Given all this, it is something of a wonder that Diane is as well balanced as she is. Either way, the darkness that looms in her past is about to come crashing into the darkness that is her future. Why do people have the best intentions for Diane, but in truth, do they?
A dazzling mix of horror and comedy accompanying a good amount of thrill. If I Can’t Have You… works because of the talented cast and every one of them hits the mark. It’s from them, their dry senses of humour mixed with over-the-top caricatures, that we get such a quality spectacle. Where, for almost everyone, likeability is at its peak, and villainous motives bring forth all the ready-made boo and hiss.
In terms of the story, it rarely makes much logic and skips around in a straight weird way, but somehow at the end, every piece of the puzzle fits together. The tone changes consistently. You can be laughing with glee at something ridiculous and moments later try to stifle your horror at the deeply disturbing storyline the film has decided to take.
A split like that might seem offputting at first glance, but If I Can’t Have You… is not here for shock value. Everything clicks together beautifully within a broader context, making sense within how the characters are fleshed out. It almost feels like this is a continuation of an already well established beloved film series. The same can be said about Star Wars as well; it worked for them, right?
This is not a movie that is going to attract a large audience, or at least not yet. It is just a tad too unusual. That said, If I Can’t Have You… is guaranteed to entertain if comedy with a hint of thrill is your cup of tea, especially with such an enthusiastic cast.
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