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Not every movie out there can be solely watched via a VCR. Some movies can be enjoyed in combination with a bunch of hipsters who are overly intoxicated. I recently learned that being with a friend, consuming Red Bull and staying awake for about 20 hours allows me to watch horror flicks too! This way, I was able to watch K.C. Bascombe’s Hide: a.k.a, my delicious K.C. masterpiece.
It tells the story of two lovers-turned bank robbers, a film starring Christian Kane and Rachel Miner. The movie is centered on two hilarious characters, Billy and Betty. Their goal is to go on a search spree to locate the money that Billy had buried away for safe keeping prior to getting imprisoned. The movie, however, revolves around Bascombe and screenplay writer Greg Rosati’s endeavor to showcase that not every Quentin Tarantino impersonation died with the 90s. Our characters are set to combine elements of Mickey, Mallory, and even Alabama. These characters can be spotted in the almost completely lifted diner scene from Pulp Fiction.
I’m a Tarantino fan and I am one of those who came in ages ago. Listening to this strange mix of free thinking and some form of criminal behavior did sound interesting. That too being served harshly fried with ridiculous Southern accents and bizarre acting… oh goodness! And as if things could get worse, the filmmakers throw in a parallel story regarding a sadistic kidnapper who displays his captives in grotesquely similiar to Saw dungeons.
The effect is much more than ‘jarring’ like hang-on-you-after-a-goof-around-move. Directly after the prologue comes Billy and Betty, strung in a cheap hotel and talk through what can only pass as faux-deep speeches, claiming to act. After what felt like forever, I turned sideways to my friend and said “My god… will we ever escape this place?” Yes, soon we do cut to a dank basement where a woman has been coaxed blindfolded and strung and gaffed into a pleading posture. “Please someone help me” she screams and the funny part is, I kid you not, I was back with our ersatz where as far as I remember they hadn’t stopped parading speeches through their mouths.
Hide keeps the viewer entertained and fascinated despite lacking any sense of logic or coherence. A group of characters on a road trip always seem to end up at sketchy landmark towns with peculiar geographical features. In one part of their trip, the hotel they are supposed to stay at is right next to a creepy theme park and only a few blocks away from a kidnapper’s shack. The plot features an underground vault where Billy stashed his cash, so you can wonder right along. With so many shocking truths, unnatural flashbacks, and dream-like scenarios, this movie is bound to end with a group of viewers fighting the urge to scream at the screen, while also wanting to abandon the feeling of bewilderment trying to make sense of the movie with the other viewers.
Whether it’s good or bad is entirely subjective. Certainly, it was not great. Bascombe and Rosati could always include another low budget film school director, M. Night Shyamalan, in their movie. Shyamalan is great at building up to twists so incorporating him would certainly add to the movie. The last few moments of hide are best understood once you see the absurdity of the previous pay-off. Some people might feel it was poorly executed and might not care for it. However, a sprained wrist, as I like to call it, is what I felt after trying to conceal the extreme shame I came out feeling while also appreciating the twist’s lows where it hand waved everything.
Grant’s casting is in my estimation the most grievous sin, and for this, I shall not look past it. In this short snippet from the film, she portrays an ill-fated waitress who goes by the name Candy. This scene greatly illustrates Hitchcock’s “bomb under the table” statement. Like that, I was ripped out of Hide’s ”SHIT VORTEX”, and placed in a charged emotionally satisfying scene where a waitress named Candy reaches an eye-opening ‘meeting’ with Billy, who she recognizes as one of the thieves from the news, and who knows very well that she knows. She is only able to just about suppress her horror. Although we are aware that the outcome will be terrible for her, Bascbombe, Rosati, and most importantly Grant lead us to believe that she actually is able to escape from whatever awaits her, and that it is possible that Billy does have some sort of mercy for this innocent, overworked, scared, woman.
Naturally, she wind up spread-eagled on the wall as the rest of the film’s journey is pointless. Fully intent on ruining that one silver lining, Rosati, in an simply unsatisfying illogical manner that is beneath even this film, attempts to bring back her character.
Yet, I suppose letting Grant take center stage would place some of her co-stars in a negative light. Kane does some fine work here, although he is pretty inconsistent. His performance of the crazed, hardened outlaw combined with the semi-reformed, self-reflective con artist is convincing as well. It’s just that his Dixie-fried accent is occasionally abandoned, or he gives some Eric Freeman relaive eyeball acting, slipping into the character’s persona.
Miner is fun to listen to, let alone watch. After this movie, she will forever be “Bottle Blonde Holly Hunter” in my eyes. I won’t be surprised to find out the actress spent all of her preparation for the role of a Southerner around the redneck themed standup routines of Patton Oswalt. One of her famous lines, “Baby” (which to her comes out as “Bahaaay-beh”) should go towards eating and drinking. But you’ll probably end up passing out after the first hotel room scene. You would not want to miss the best line in cinema spoke in such a glorious manner, “Fuck me like you have been in prison for seven years.”
Hide is yet another movie added to the collection, brilliant, fun, and absolutely ridiculous. If you happen to be a fan of garbage like The Room, Fair Game, Never Cry Werewolf, then this one goes into your list. Just never remember to watch them alone!
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