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Enemy Gold, a film from 1993, has a somewhat intriguing beginning with a series of scenes from the Civil War. Men dressed in grey uniforms are seen walking about in a woodland region trying to find a hiding spot for their gold.
Notice how I said it’s an intriguing beginning but I didn’t say it’s a good one. To be honest, when I first came across the soldiers in the movie, I expected them to be performing a ‘reenactment show’ from the American Civil War. Their haircuts as well as facial hair, and even the relative cleanliness of the uniforms paint a picture of the 1860s and the air we see around us is accompanied with false hope.
As a history buff, it should be recognized that I’ve always found the Civil War intriguing. I find utterly unconvincing recreations of history fascinating, and therefore I am always excited about Civil War-themed movies. I found it even more interesting to learn that the movie’s Confederates were supposed to be parts of Quantrill’s Raiders. William Quantrill was one of the Civil War’s most notorious sociopaths, and many of the famous outlaws from the Old West fought under Quantrill’s banner. There are always rumours about Quantrill hiding a fortune in Texas before he was killed by Union soldiers. This lie is at the core of Enemy Gold.
Getting past the gold takes some time, that’s for sure. After a prologue set during the Civil War period, Enemy Gold advances to the 1990s. A battalion of secret agents are readying themselves to assault a group of drug smugglers. One such agent is Bruce Penhall who has previously portrayed special agent Bruce Christian in a few Andy Sidaris films. However, it is easy to understand that considering how Enemy Gold was directed by Sidaris’s son, Christian Drew Sidaris, Bruce Penhall is definitely not playing Bruce Christian in this movie. Instead, the character he’s playing is none other than Chris Cannon, who happens to be a notorious character for having the same personality as Bruce Christian. Only, in this case, Cannon’s punchlines are much more pathetic than those delivered by Christian. He is accompanied by Mark Austin (Mark Barriere) and Suzi Midnite (Suzi Simpson).
I sometimes consider what it would be like to bear the name Lisa Marie Midnite, and while I have not gone through with my plans, I might as well if I decide to leave the country.
Either way, drug traders have never been a match for the talents of Chris, Mark, and Suzi now, have they? Well managed, but here’s the twist. The trio is under Dickson’s command, who frowns upon their aversive methods (Alan Abew). Their reward? A contemptuous suspension.
Honestly, the threesome grasps the silver lining in being suspended for ‘spare time.’ This means more time to spend leisurely, perhaps even making a trip to the woods for Quantrill’s gold.
However, they are not alone in their endeavours. Santiago, the evil drug dealer (Rodrigo Obregon) also has his sights on the gold and plans to acquire it with the help of a hired assassin, Jewel Panther (Julie Strain). In case you haven’t clued in as to why Dickson is such an agitating character, keep the fact that he may or may not work directly under Santiago in mind.
As expected, the rest of us have found ourselves in the woods, bound to each other, and having some fun with explosives. It’s what you would anticipate shot in a Sidaris film and can include the recurring cast and corny jokes too. On second thought, ignore what I just said.
The humour in Enemy Gold surpasses in porousness over the common Sidaris humour. A line between characters from Enemy Gold ‘What’s up?’ ‘I am.’ I might have appreciated Enemy Gold more if the action had stayed focused within the 19th Century. The Civil War action scenes were rather unconvincing as they desperately tried to showcase America’s interesting centuries. Unfortunately, the film’s action shifted towards the early 90s, leading it to be overly consumed with the drug smuggler subplot. Alongside other things, Enemy Gold is just another stupid movie. Self-awareness is something that fuels cinematic masterpieces like “Hard Ticket To Hawaii” and “Malibu Express,” and it is something that Enemy Gold surely lacks. What is truly enjoyable is that the amazing Rodrigo Obregon and Julie Strain totally embrace their roles as outlandish villains and give this film the purpose it desperately needs. Obregon indeed, on some occasions, resembled the great Tommy Wiseau. In stark contrast, the three male leads bore me to death. If dummy Civil War fans like yourself are eager to actively experience the war while knowing a few facts about it, Enemy Gold may stir your interest somewhat. Roberto Obregon, If that’s not you, don’t worry, this is definitely a film you will have no regrets ditching.
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