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There was a lot that went wrong for me to have chosen today’s movie. I was planning on watching the sequel of the movie I watched yesterday. I put the DVD into my computer and it did not run. I tried updating everything, doing a virus scan, cleaning the registry and everything that can be thought of in order to get my computer to work so that I can watch the Chronicles of Riddick. I did not succeed. So I came to the ‘screw it’ rationale and went to Netflix to check for what is in the active streaming. A minute later, with a slight case of amnesia and a few clicks later, I was checking out Double Dragon. Maybe I acted a bit impulsive. Regardless, now that I have watched Double Dragon, I will put my thoughts down for you to read. Double Dragon was directed by James Yukich and features Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, Robert Patrick, Julia Nickson, Alyssa Milano, Kristina Malandro Wagner, Nils Allen Stewart, Leon Russom, Al Leong, Michael Berryman with cameos from Vanna White, George Hamilton, and Andy Dick.
Linda Lash (Kristina Malndro Wagner) is in possession of the Double Dragon pendant’s other half, which her manager Koga Shuko (Robert Patrick) is seeking. The other half of the pendant is with Satori Imada (Julia Nickson), who is currently living in a warped version of Los Angeles and is training two siblings with mixed ethnicities. One of them is an Asian boy named Jimmy Lee (Mark Dacascos) while the other one, who is Caucasian, is called Billy Lee (Scott Wolf). On their way back home after a martial arts competition, the brothers encounter a gang that is led by Abobo (Nils Allen Stewart) and things take an unpleasant turn. Fortunately, a good side gang unit known as the Power Corps arrives on time and rescues them. Unfortunately, Shuko looks for the other half of the pendant and leaves no stones unturned to find it, which includes murdering Satori Imada and destroying the Lee’s household. Now the brothers have no choice but to work with Marian and get revenge on Shuko. To do this, they need to obtain the magic power that Shuko possesses, and after some trouble, they manage to defeat Shuko. The scene changes to them fusing the pieces from the pendant and receiving matching costumes that were tossed aside by Earth, Wind, and Fire.
It would be fair to think movies based on beat-‘em up video games have a slight chance of having decent fight sequences. That isn’t the case here. And honestly, if you had expectations of things being remotely good from Double Dragon, you are exceedingly foolish. With the limited knowledge I have, I can tell that there was maybe one person who could even try to put up a fight in the movie, and even that one person was Scott Wolf. Scott was so comically dreadful that I believe the choreographers eventually transitioned from putting Scott in fighting moments to using him as comic relief during the fighting, making him do things like throwing basketballs, breaking gumball machines to trip his enemies, and trapping his enemies’ hair in suitcases. Of the little people in the main cast that could actually fight, Mark Dacascos was among them. Probably the most interesting of all his attributes were the fight sequences. In the film, Julia Nickson was the person who was teaching them martial arts, though to my shock, she was even more incompetent than Wolf. There must have been some motivation that was fueled by racism to get her hired. A person somewhere thought to themselves, “She’s oriental, she must be able to Kung Fu.” As a whole, the fighting ranged from atrocious to ridiculously atrocious.
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