Die, Daisy, Die!

Die,-Daisy,-Die!
Die, Daisy, Die!

Alien: Romulus (Theater) – This particular chapter is set approximately twenty years after the explosion of the Nostromo. This is also twenty years after a space research mission collecting remnants from an earlier explosion in this part of space. We see a group of uninformed youths resolve to retrieve the lifepods from an abandoned space platform which has now got adrift in the interstellar void in between planets and is poised to collide with a terraformed planet. Escaping to the dead craft while attaching their ships to it was the plan so they could enter and come back out. But this actually gets very complicated when they have to land at the research facility instead. This part of the narrative is especially well-developed because it attempts to consolidate every single chapter of the ‘Alien’ franchise. To invert the premise, fans of this film series have a rare treat: you really don’t have to watch the other parts to figure out what’s happening: Prometheus’s trademark Ripley Scott version is included but belongs to a different discussion. This no doubt leads to the conclusion that this film has met the expectations for the regulars of this series: it is to be assumed that there will be a new release approximately every sixteen to eighteen months for this series.

There’s no denying that Ridley Scott is over the hill in terms of his career. Or do we all forget how he always claimed, “to have finished with the series sometime in 8the 0s” until 20th-century fox approached him about bringing out a sequel for ‘Blade Runner’? Or do all Yinz horror fans forget about that? How to even open that door feels like a conversation for another time (GIMME NEIL Bolmkamp’s vision of the real “Alien 3”), this film goes there and I won’t refrain from saying that it has made me frustrated! Either way, don’t concern yourself too much about the Prometheus crap because this film deserves two or three good viewings because they got it right. It’s a 3-star rating for me right now and I want a fully fledged movie with Colonial Marines and my picture is on the latest Aliens comic balcony… Go check I am not lying!

Pittsburg goes zombie – Fuck this movie is so lost that I would have not known about owing to someone (Ninja Master Dan Komarek) scouring archive.org and someone who posted this one-time Public TV movie on Vimeo, to inform me that this is likely a Florida film. Long story kids… it is officially a movie by Jess Turner Productions and released in 1996 but invented in 1988 with ample research done by me, it is not a zombie movie that was ever filmed in Pittsburgh, PA. In fact, it was never even filmed in Pittsburgh, Pa.

To start off, you all forget that at the end of Pittsburgh, PA which is a dead giveaway, n’ the palm trees but let’s move forward. A barrel of undisclosed goo has been pouring itself into the rivers and police are clueless of its origins or type. After a few phone calls and long scenes of the sheriff talking to people trying to make himself ‘important,’ he finds it out, that it’s completely Government’s job to do that and they do it promptly. But for the love of Rutger Hauer, it is too late the goo has seeped into the rivers and graves, and the dead have begun to rise. The movie has some blood, but many of the zombie scenes are shot too dark along with well, no real ending after 88 minutes but still enjoyable for strange nostalgia purposes as I rate it 2 out of 4 stars.

Rejected (YouTube) – The Rene Riva Productions is a short film compilation that presents an anthology in 15 minutes featuring an unconventional vhs touch. This Event in Sonu Studios takes place in late November 1997, where two Television presenters depicted the commercials which were cast-off for the new floppy disk camera that Sonu has recently launched. The portrayed characters marketing the new innovative technology… are doomed! Easy and plain, this is 15 minutes of sheer horror that has effectiveness at its best as I rate this project a perfect 4 out of 4.

Killer Campout II (DVD) – After a couple of years, Brad Twigg and his team go back to the forest location to provide the Indianapolis horror fans with the supernatural slasher they’ve demanded. The year is 1990, and Camp Phoenix has been reopened for a new camp counselor guru who is hoping to help some troubled teens find themselves. But three misfits make terrible decisions that lead to one of them attempting to perform a ritual over the corpse of a serial killer named Blackwell, now where could that go wrong? We were raised up from the grave an evil dark force Blackwell who rages and slaughters all to that comes in his woods. An extremely impressive Indy cast as it seems their roles are made for them and this is not quite a last-minute addition, plenty of blood and guts,and incongruent sex scenes to satiate the slasher formula for all the viewers. If, on the other hand, I had to pick something, I would really want this movie to be cut down to about 78 minutes instead of the 93 minutes it has now, as some scenes are a bit drawn out for my tastes. Still I have to give this sequel 2 and a half out of 4 stars.

Babezilla vs. The Cyber Skanks: Rise of the Mecha Babezilla (DVD) – There’s no use worrying about your brain when watching Hojbob Productions. Hojbob Productions really intends to take you around a wild funny dirty film. Andrew J. Chambers, the director of the hilarious Hobo with a Shotgun, returns with another film in which everything gets dim at the very beginning as we see the widow to his cinematic vision sounding off. The sleaze Noel Anthony tries to fertilize depicts corporate leeches who are genetically altering young beauty to create them into robotized skanks, weakly to withstand the dominion of their nemesis “Babezilla”, her breast-spewing lasers don’t help the cause on any account either. When Babezilla is not fighting zombies and not acting in horrible porn, she manages to schedule some time to do meet and greets with her supporters. There is where the hurls against the superhero are tried, and when they don’t work, Babezilla corners them in their evil lair.

If you enjoy some raunchiness, terrible humor, and a kung fu master who goes by the name Master Beta, get ready to find this film very amusing. The casting of Jessa Flux, Kelsey Livengood, Clint Beaver, and Ginger Lynn playing the Indy Stars is great. On this note, I rate this film 2.5 stars out of 4 for a good laugh in the latest Babezilla film.

Die, Daisy, Die! (DVD) – Mark Mackner comes back to a long-running character of his creation who is called Daisy Derkins (four features and a short film). After the superhero that the fans love so much, Daisy, manages to defeat a lizard man, she decides that it is now time to relax a little and start a business selling comic books. But let us not jump the gun, since Daisy knows that there are no guarantees in business and therefore takes a second job with the new popular dating application that has taken the city by storm, ‘DateGo’. The app is extremely famous which only helps to feed the pocket of lizard people and their plans to defeat the great Daisy Derkins and her superhero escapades. The humanoid lizards come up with a complicated scheme where they go back in time with another villain called “The Dawn Avenger” not to kill Daisy but to change history so that they never loss to her again during their quest to take over the earth. On the other hand Daisy only wonders what it feels like to be on the show who will be telecasting her coverage of the grand opening of her own comic book’s store.

This feels like a strange parallel universe Troma film from the late 90’s only to be disrupted by the appearance of Lloyd Kaufman playing himself and the bizarre plot of a serial killer returning to the present with the lizard creatures and Daisy who must stop all of them. Were you able to grasp any of that because I am still attempting too as I score this movie two and a half stars out of four.

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