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The political caricature Cuba Crossing dedicates the opening of the film to, ‘all citizens who strive to reside in a free democratic society,’ to which I exclaim, ‘isn’t that me and perhaps yourself as well.’ It is noteworthy however, that it does not mean that we are meant to appreciate it.
He is an American who, for reasons yet unknown to me, has committed his life towards the elimination of Fidel Castro after managing to escape the infamous Bay of Pigs Invasion. Years later, he finally gets a shot when Mr Rossellini a gentleman who claims that his business was impacted by Castro and his gambling enterprise in Cuba – hires him and, alongside him, the mysterious Mr. Bell who financially supports Hud for an expedition to Cuba. With a plan to take out Castro while he is relaxed in his hotel room on the Isla de Pinos, Hud is determined to bring a father and son who are sharpshooters. Rossellini aids a drunken bar owner and military ship captain Tony to escort the men onto the island but things are complicated, and there is already a double-cross in play.
Interspersed with unrelated footage, the opening sequences portray the US’s disastrous attempt at the Bay of Pigs invasion in 1961. Hudson (Robert Vaughn, Superman III), whose comrades are murdered, curses, “Damn you, Kennedy!” and screams to the sky. Fast forward to today, Hudson has joined the CIA, and is on his way to Key West, Florida. It is time to exact revenge. One of the film’s working titles succinctly relates the plot: Assignment: Kill Castro.
In order to do this, Hudson recruits bar owner and charter boat operator Tony (Stuart Whitman, Demonoid) to drop off a couple of hitmen on the island of Cuba and return with a crate of heroin. Tony accepts the offer but is bewildered once he realizes the depth of his own deceit despite the ease of the seduction that came with working on the project, which was orchestrated by My Tutor MILF Caren Kaye.
There is so much going on in Cuba Crossing that it becomes hard to keep track of the events and characters, which perhaps aligns with the crawl that cites ‘Bay of Pigs’ as confusing and frustrating. The direction by Chuck Workman who has made impressive Academy Awards montages falls short, as he lacks finess and sophistry. For instance, in one of his scenes set in Tony’s bar, he appears to be filming three different movies. He has a Marilyn Monroe look alike sing ‘I want to be loved by you,’ he has huge iguanas crawling over the head of a brainless man, and in the background, there is chaos as a bar fight breaks out. It’s a mess –to say the least!
The screenplay for this movie was co-written with Workman by Robin Swicord who did manage to improve herself during her career. The same cannot be said about the direction of the movie, as they chose midways to add the immensely in demand Sybil Danning and Woody Strode into the mess of cockfighting, man eating turtles, and what one of the antagonists of the movie called “that fourth of July gun bullshit.”
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