Cocaine Werewolf (2024)

Cocaine-Werewolf-(2024)
Cocaine Werewolf (2024)

Somewhere in the more woodsy parts of Pennsylvania, a drug trade that goes wrong, a drug deal goes bad, which leaves behind a briefcase full of cocaine. One of the protagonists Jack who is voiced by Brice Kennedy is a werewolf and is a drug addict who whenever he wants a hit or a ‘smoke’ chooses to snort coke. Here this action worsens his disease and it’s not all that pleasing doing this procedure. As we observe his heart rate is insane, it is as if some racing car has combined itself with the coke, and like he is a car about to crash into something very serious. His werewolf visage resembles that of a poor porcelain doll made for a Halloween costume that looks like Rawhead Rex from a movie based on a single person’s self-indulgence who has no idea about the actual character. The jaw moves rather mildly only, the eyes do not blink at all, the creature has a very large cranium, tiny and flabby thumbs stuck to very large hands which also have big shoes to match. This does not look like a werewolf at all, it looks like something far worse. What’s worse though is that when he is high, he absolutely demolishes everything in his path! Frankly, he is the cocaine werewolf! At the same time, low budget horror movie is a film about a killer who occupies a clown mask, along with the three cast members and two crew members, a clown mask killer is filming this maniac in the very cold forest areas.

The writer/ director never stops sarcastically stating that getting both of his female cast members to start having some fun on camera is rather unrealistic because “there is no context provided.” But there is a gratuitous shower scene that occurs and it is completely naked which is ugly and not only adds to the running time but gratefully provides nothing to the narrative. It is like making a sandwich and overestimating your hunger and later having to throw it away. It was wasted and I am feeling the same about the nude scene of the movie, and how I sympathized with the actress who did it. Anyway, the Cocaine Werewolf targets the saps who are making a low-budget horror movie, however, there are a couple of aspects in the film that seem genuine such as the one when the director says something like, “What? You think we actually make money doing this?.” That was the only line in the entire film that made me smile.

I should first start off by saying that Cocaine Werewolf is the first film from Mark Polonia that I have watched and most likely the only one. Mark Polonia, as everyone knows, is a prolific junk filmmaker who has over a hundred of these types of movies. He has a number of films under his belt where he gets kids to fight gators and has Bigfoot living in his basement. What causes someone to watch his movies & Fans? Someone must be watching for him to still make more. It’s unbelievable, but yes. I just looked it up, and there are several Facebook fan groups dedicated to Mark Polonia. What I find odd is that this film is nothing but a remake of Cocaine Bear, which I believe is based on real events. It’s safe to say that a true story inspired Cocaine Werewolf as well. That’s just insane.

Polonia also did the voice-over commentary in case the fans wanted to hear about his ideas. This DVD has been released by Cleopatra Records. In addition to Polonia`s commentary, trailer, and pictures this DVD included images and slideshows The only redeeming quality of the film was its great soundtrack, a bunch of random goth rock songs. Therefore, on the soundtrack, there should have been a CD, which, in my opinion, would have been a great idea.

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