
Alien: Romulus (Theater) – Okay, this film takes place twenty years after the destruction of the Nostromo and a space expedition is on a mission to see what happened after the explosion. Some kid if you will who now is in space and is going to crash into this world that is terraformed and has no sun comes up with the idea of how to avoid a life of flying to dead space stations to recover the cryotubes as illegals. So these kids come up and dock with the dead vessel for a few hours to take a look and sneak in but it all goes belly up when they are instructed to go bump the lab. This is the point where the film practically attempts to include every single film that was made under the Alien banner at least in one way or another… In doing so there are those who downright imply that this might well be the first one where you don’t need to have watched the remaining in order to know what is going on? The movie shows us its bits and pieces including what was the horror for some of us Ripley Scott’s Prometheus which is another topic but not here? Bottom line this movie is even for me who is not a fan of the franchise where there should be a movie about every 16 – 18 months like it is in the mean time for the ‘Puppet Master’ saga.
It’s time for Scott to move on or does everyone pretend he hasn’t constantly said “I’m finished with the god damned series back in the 80s” and then suddenly we see him doing a sequel to ‘Blade Runner’ for 20th Century Fox instead of them with their checking book? Or do you all horror fans forget that shit? Another conversation for another time (Seriously can you give me Neil Bolmkamp’s vision on Alien 3 as it was intended). For crying out loud this film just makes it easy for me to complain! Anyway stay away from Prometheus bullshit as this movie was good, not great but I can see myself watching it several times over because they got it right! 3 star from me right now bring on a series of films with the Colonial Marines and yes some people have told me that my image is on a recent Aliens comic Go look I am not telling you a lie!
Zombies Invade Pittsburg (Vimeo) – This is such a hard movie to find it took Ninja Master Dan Komarek searching black holes of archive. Com and someone who uploaded it – well sort of public access tv movie onto vimeo, to get me informed and to tell both of them that trust me it’s probably a film from Florida? Long story kids From Jess Turner productions and released in 1996 but actually shot in 1988, after so much research done, it is not a Pittsburgh, Pa., zombie flick.
First of all, do yinz even put the “H” n’at at the end of Pittsburgh, Pa? I mean its a blatant clue with the palm trees but anyway let’s keep it moving. No one knows how or when a barrel somewhere got ruptured and gushed gooey mass into Indian waters. After a series of phone calls and long scenes of the sheriff busy in explaining how crucial he is to the work, he learns that ordering a cleanup is quite literally the government’s job since they do it without delay. But for the love of Rutger Hauer it’s too late, as all such resources are gone and the goo has seeped into the rivers, and the graves have been drained and the zombies come out. There is some blood in the film but primarily the movie is overly dark because of a number of scenes filmed between A to Z zombie movies, but what is still the point of giving the film an actual conclusion after only 88 minutes it all leaves a feeling of nostalgic absurdity, and I would rate it like 2 out of 4 stars.
Rejected (YouTube) – This short film from Rene Riva Productions is an interesting one as they made an anthology into 15 minutes with a ‘VHS’ sort of feel. We are in late November 1997 at the Sonu Studios and a couple of TV anchors are explaining the commercial ads for Sonu’s new digital camera which accepts floppy disks, but were rejected. The advertisements show people taking pictures with the new camera which of course is advanced but also very deadly for the subjects! This is 15 minutes of horror awesomeness brought in beautiful manner as I rate this short film project 4 out 4 stars.
Killer Campout II (DVD) – And now, for this sequel which is directed by Brad Twigg and a few other guys, it has been a few years since they shot the first part and plunged themselves into Indy horror movies once again. The date is 1990 and Camp Phoenix is ready to host free spirited campers who want to be guided by a certain warrior guru, as in a camp counselor. All is alright in the camp until three psychotic freaks decide to dig up some grave from the serial killer Blackwell, bring him back from the dead and perform a voodoo black magic ceremony and nothing will happen?
The moment Blackwell emerges from the earth’s core, he starts slaughtering everything that moves in his woods. What do we call this barbeque? And the midget comes out with flick-f” I often hear how people wind up in their roles in playful casting (independent) movies like this. They fit, look, and feel like they are not simply cast as throwaway characters, there is enough dismemberment, and some random strange bonking to check off boxes for slashing fans. Oh sure, I should praise it. The film could be easily slashed down to 78 mins from its original 93 mins runtime, it would make so much sense. There are some sequences that prolong slightly past their efficacy, but still absolute satisfaction towards the sequel. 2 and half out of four stars for this flick.
Babezilla vs The Cyber Skanks: Rise of the Mecha Babezilla (DVD) – Very few slasher films suck more than a bad Hojbob Productions movie, go ahead and sit through this trash. Andrew J Chalmers’ latest fails to disappoint. Despite the obvious, the highlights are the outrageous disclaimers that define the film. The underlying premise is that some faceless evil corporation wants to bionicize the winsome dames and hurl them at Babezilla who puts them down with her laser emitting breasts. She is trouncing corporates every time they try to deploy the robotic operatives and turn her into a zombie island queen! So what does our superhero do when not battling zombies or shooting awful adult content? The Baghara meets her fans and participates in ‘meet & greet’ sessions. Unfortunately for the Cyber Skanks, who attempt to kill her there, this plan does not work either and they have to flee when Babezilla appears to put an end to their plans.
Those who enjoy sleezebag antics will love this film as it features a great collection of Indy stars like Jessa Flux, Kelsey Livengood, Clint Beaver and Ginger Lynn. Eye candy is great as is Master Beta the kung fu master. Featured here as well. In case you are wondering what I am talking about, gird yourself with cringes as I take you through this advertisement, which I rate 2 ½ out of 4 stars.
Die, Daisy, Die! (DVD) – Die, Daisy, Die sees the much-loved character of Daisy Derkins, who has now appeared in four features and a short film, recreated by Mark Mackner (Daisy Derkins comic book series). What does Daisy do once her character has defeated a lizard person and she desires to focus on the more mundane aspects of life such as owning a comic book store? Well, rather than dilly-dally, Daisy is also aware that there is no assurance when it comes to owning a business and therefore takes a second job at a new controversial dating website, app named, DateGo, that everyone seems to be buzzing about. While the app attempts to garner popularity, it is said that it is a cover for the finance drives of the humanoid lizards and their schemes to kill Ms. Derkins once and for all. The humanoid lizards devise an absurd plan to travel through space and time with another villain, The Dawn Avenger, in order to wait until Daisy is what? Instead, they plan on changing the course of her competition so that they can conquer the world. In the meantime, Daisy’s greatest concern is how will she be interviewed on Public Access Television on the eve of the launch of her comic book store.
This is probably some odd universe Troma movie from the late 90’s but for some reason Lloyd Kaufman actually comes to cameo as himself and completely messes up the timeline of this serial killerC-monster/Daisy as she tries to take all of them down plot. I mean do you follow all that because I am still working on it as I award this project 2 ½ over 4 stars.
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