I can tell ‘Kiss Kiss’ is bad when just twenty minutes into the film, it jumped to its third montage featuring female characters. ‘Kiss Kiss’ isn’t just hilarious bad, but also comically boring. So much so that I stopped the movie after the credits started rolling. So much pain was inflicted for over ninety minutes just to watch women bounce around and beat each other up. It’s hard to believe that this atrocity gets any screen time!
The new dancer, Kiss, Treasure, Kurious as well as Tia are about to embark on wine tasting tours, after which they knew how to unwind after a hard week stripping. Those scantily clad nincompoops end up going on a farm tour and drinking themselves into oblivion. They wake up the next morning with rude shocks. First, the ladies find they’ve been drugged, Then that they are going through a military experiment. Kiss, the leader has some creative combat to come up with, as she and friends are forced to battle one another to death.
It’s awful! “Kiss Kiss” comes off like a low-quality version of the much better “Raze,” which is infinitely more exploitative and never as brutal. I don’t know how someone can set up a film premise around the promise of women’s toe-to-toe brawls, and then film all the fights in slow motion, with quick cuts in between. Speaking of awful, the choreography was atrocious, the editing was shambolic, and the casting awful as well, with the entire cast being made up of wooden mannequins and people who are ridiculously over the top. Not a single woman managed to deliver an adequate portrayal of their poorly drawn characters, but Robert Wagner was the highlight.
What Gibson depicts is an over the top, maniac, multi-millionaire in the military industry, who is somehow a bit artificial and not believable. Even though the women look stunning, I found myself a little lost as soon as “Kiss Kiss” commenced with what it had to offer. What got me deeply intrigued is, why focus on strippers? Why young women? Or just ordinary normal Americans? For what reason does Gibson feel a woman fighting a woman to prove some point is effective and worthy for his investors? What is the purpose behind having a super soldier serum? The possibilities are endless! What is up with these young girls, the moment they step in the most classified places, smearing war paint and sparkling dust only to fight ferociously? Why? These all seem like credible questions that have simple reasoning. Unfortunately, I am sad to report, “Kiss Kiss” appears to be a mediocre TV show and softcore porn. An unfortunate gaffe because the context is rich with possibilities. In the end, it’s clear and a safer choice to just watch some MMA instead.
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