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Since the start, I have argued that horror movies should neither exceed 90 minutes nor fall below 80 minutes. As far as I can tell, that will give you enough time for the story to develop without dragging for too long and boring the audience. The movie Evolution of Evil left me bored and frustrated within 70 minutes of its runtime, let me explain what went wrong.
To begin with, the narrative was far from original. People die due to a few weird inbred cannibals living in the woods – a classic. Rather than The Sawyers in Texas or Jupiter’s Clan from Nevada, we now have Arvis in the Pacific Northwest. Oh, and we have him with who? His son? Turns out it’s a woman, but we are never told why Arvis is so confused. Actually, we are not given any details about anyone.
Secondly, none of the characters are likeable. In this short story, Chris and Lori are our protagonists. Chris is fine, but Lori is the absolute worst. She’s a spoiled brat. She’s grumbling about the scary sign on the general store, she’s grumbling over the rowdy “teens;” she is so irritating, I’m ready to murder her. The kind woman at the store even got some of her super snark when she was telling Chris the store doesn’t take cards. At this point they wedged in Lori’s craving for beef jerky, and not Jack Links. She wants the local stuff because “local is better!” That is when I remembered that this movie would have some cannibals in it because the beef jerky was in a plain brown bag with ARVIS JERKY written on it in marker. And everyone knows that’s how they would sell human jerky. The next morning, Chris gets taken by Arvis. Lori wakes up by a creek and starts making her way through the woods. She finds a road and guess who decides to give her a ride? Arvis! Then it becomes one of those films that my friends and I love to watch but is a terrible copy of all the others.
A clear reference to The Shining was made here too. That’s all there is to it. Lori ends up being our last girl standing who is rescued by the same “teens” she ridiculed for having PBR.
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