The ABCs of Death is a collection horror movie that gave 26 directors all over the world a the chance to create something unique using one word: Death. Each director was given a letter that they had to use as a starting point for a short film that focused on a word that started with the letter. Up next, I will write down my critique of the movie, one segment at a time after writing this.
There’s not much going on over here. Because the apocalypse is on the way, a woman kills her husband by chopping up his hand and neck while beating him with a frying pan. There is no criticism to be done because it is literally just an empty two minute long sequence that finishes with a red light that I guess is supposed to symbolize the end of the world. It is harmless.
In order for this couple to have sex, a man and his girlfriend tells his child cousin a bedtime story about a form of superstition revolving around the Abominable Snowman. They indeed do, but its not pretty and they are in plain sight of a peculiar person outside. This stranger proceeds to kill them with what looks to be a pizza cutter before departing. Spoiler tip: the child sleeps fine.
I am afraid there is still no progress. There is not much on Bigfoot, unless you want to link Bigfoot with the Abomitable Snowman. But even then, the Abomitable Snowman doesn’t really kill anyone, it is merely a blind hobo. If your aim here is to view nude, this is a very appealing short. For adequate horror, go somewhere else.
First, we start off with a blood stain. Then immediately cut to a couple sleeping in bed. The woman says that she can hear something, so the man goes to check. Now we fade to black again. It’s now the morning and we can see a man stepping out, only to find a hole (?), which he is sucked into (?). Fade to black again. He awakens lying on the lawn at night. Then he goes into the house and sees that he is asleep in bed next to his wife. So, for you guys: what we have is a time loop. The best cure for this is to stop watching The ABCs of Death. Farewell and good luck hiding from this ailment. You will be free of all symptoms Potty Cinema in a couple of days once you get the horrifying taste of poor filmmaking out of your mouth.
To be completely honest, this is the first concept of the movie that is somewhat appealing. Its closure is missing and there is a lack of tension. It never goes beyond a thought experiment. It is a step better than A and B, but it is still a useless short.
The short begins with the cool image of a man’s head. He prepares for some underground boxing match. The slow motion scene at the start is overly lengthy. We learn that the man is prepping to box a dog. Amazing.
The two opponents bite each other vigorously, and the dog eventually breaths heavily to rip out his neck. To option more accurately, the dog turns aggressive towards its owner. It is clear that the master of the dog took it from the owner of the dog before losing the fight to the rest of the world. I’m not too keen to delve any deeper into the narrative.
This short film stands out as somewhat bizarre in its premise and techniques. For example, what goes through one’s mind when watching a man assault a dog? An additional aspect is that the short is depicted in total slow motion. At first, I was captivated by the use of shots and the , but it was overkill. In addition, the twist ending serves no purpose aside from being oddly bewildering.
There is a spider in a house. A man who lives there intends to kill one. It frightens him. He dispatches it, but not before it had already laid eggs in his ear. The End.
“If there was a God [girl farts, literally blowing her skirt up]…sensitive girls wouldn’t be so ashamed whenever they had to fart.” Maybe such opening line is enough to sum up this short.
But no, there is so much more. That is the least annoying thing about this short the first one minute of this film, which is constantly changing, is an endless work of art. I never want to give this short a plot description. I simply loathe this short. But, if you do decide to watch this at all, just go straight to the segment by Noboru Iguchi. I still don’t get it. Why? Just why?
This short is a first person view of a surfer, well, just a little bit of it. He gets a few feet out when he is suddenly yanked a few feet underwater. This is the last thing we see before cut to red tide and a shot of the surfboard. The end.
Oh, and I almost forgot They could have just cut out this minute long part and focused more on the fetish porn director who is in F. It is too strange to be shown in a regular movie so please remember to check it out when you can. It is unbelievably insane. Let me reiterate, it is unfathomably crazy.
We can all agree that this is exactly what we need right now in the film some good old science. I mean that’s the point of this short, right? Science? After all these short films that were either mediocre or worse, we could use a good lesson in renewable energy.
What is it that you’re saying? A Nazi stripper fox and a biker dog? That cannot be correct… What does any of this have to do with hydro-electricity? There is an electrified pit within a groud with water? Alright, fair point. You do have a good argument.
I have to say, and only for the sake of generosity, the surrealism in this short, while crazy, is actually rather effective. Considering what the audience has been put through earlier, this does make sense. I’ll give them kudos for originality. Who would have thought I’d get to say that a strip club filled with humanoid animals and surrounded by abrupt Nazi overtones is among the best of the film so far? I surely did not see that coming.
A woman is tucked away in a bathroom while a man sits beside her with an injection. After he leaves, she begins scratching her skin raw as she starts to vomit. It is, in fact, pretty revolting.
Alex, try to look at the positive this time. It is not fair to simply resort to cheap shots at all of these shorts. Well, the voiceover is a bit intriguing here and it guess it does not really lead to anything in the end, but it is decently written. The part that I am struggling to wrap my head around is the title. What is “ingrown” in this short? Did I miss something?
This short depicts ritual suicide, except for the intriguing twist that the person set to undergo the opening cannot control themselves from constantly laughing and making silly faces. And by silly faces, I mean slapstick surreal Claymation faces. See, suicide is funny!
In parallel to H, we shift towards a more comical perspective of death. Yes, it does take the serious ritual of Seppuku and turn it on its head (pun intended?), but it is strangely more funny than strange. That hyper perspiring face gag? Pretty hilarious.
The first animated film on this list is centered around a women relieving herself in the bathroom. After use, the toilet does not flush properly, so her instinctive reaction is to stuff the bowl with pieces of toilet paper and try to flush again. Regardless, the brown mass keeps bobbing above the water and starts to follow her around. It just wants to return home…sort of.
Although this is another attempt at positive humor, it has originality points in my view. But I wouldn’t ask for such a short in a million years. I have to admit that to this day, at least the shorts with attempted humor seem to bear the most fruit as opposed to the serious ones which have failed attempts from the first step.
We start with a party from Eyes Wide Shut with two men waking up in chairs and strapped. A woman stands up in front of them and undresses, and for some reason the two men are aware of what they are expected to do. The one who loses this sick game gets stabbed, cannibal holocaust style. So, the stakes are pretty high. As there are quite a few “levels” to this tournament… ah, you know what, I can’t in good conscience go on with this synopsis any further. Just… the endurance that guy has! Also, a misplaced eye raises the bewilderment to the next level.
I’m sorry, but I did not need to see this. This is as devoid of humanity as A Serbian Film. (Yes, his short is coming up I believe.) The way certain parts of this are filmed are actually pretty interesting. It’s too bad that what looks like potential talent behind the camera is being squandered on an excruciatingly dull example of torture porn. Just a heads up, for those who don’t enjoy disturbing imagery, skip this one. But then again, if your idol is Marquis de Sade, sit by because this is great material.
Oh dear god, can it honestly get worse then that last one? M is for Miscarriage!? Hopefully, West does not let humor seep into this one.
Nope, he sort of does. It’s like a fun situational comedy thing…except its horrifying to even think of having that kind of fun, so it’s not fun. And what a terrible close-up. And if you’re already skipping L, go ahead and skip past this one unless you’re a masochist. West, I expected better from you.
This comedy bit is somehow even more amusing as the bird starts off by miming the sounds of a man cheating on his boyfriend after it pretends to propose to her. I can get behind this one. Thank you, Banjong Panathinaikos, in the middle of this terrible movie somehow, thanks for cleaning my pallet.
In comparison to the rest of the film so far, the opening shots of this short are rather stunning. The close up angles of the body parts and the end of the lit cigarette set quite a sensual mood. The blinks in between the image of an eye and the tip of the cigarette are quite captivating. The visuals carry on a woman blows bubbles, a cigarette burns a voodoo doll’s stomach, the woman sinks into a leather couch. But there are also distortions. The colors shift to neon red and green. A leather clad man disrupts the warming scene.
This scene on the contrary is a depiction of rape and murder so it’s horrifying but structured beautifully. The visuals actually do have a mesmerizing aspect to them but are disturbing at the same time. This is so far the best short out of all the lot. It is at least, pleasing to look at.
A son is in need of a bike. For her daughter’s birthday, the mother plans to purchase one. However, she works in overtime shifts as a prostitute.
While the film was lacking in vivid images, it was quite interesting due to its lack of dialogue. There is an underlying theme of cruelty within the animal kingdom that is eerie and shocking at the same time. I believe the film was meant to evoke strong feelings which is arguably as impressive as producing a well rounded film, but the short needed more than that to redeem it.
If you were interested in those particular attributes from the beginning, I imagine you are pleased now. This film does not disappoint. Rounding number two: full rack. Have your fill.
And for the rest of us, this is Adam Wingard’s short. He is probably the most well-known of the lot, having previously directed You’re Next, The Guest (you can read my The Guest review here), and V/H/S. In this mini movie, Adam Wingard acts as himself. He is unable to get the idea for the short he is producing for The ABCs of Death. Quite self-referential, isn’t it? For their segment, he and Simon Barrett are supposed to collaborate on an attempt to make a real snuff film by first killing a duck, and then murdering each other. It’s actually pretty funny. It also illustrates that Adam Wingard is quite likely busy doing more important things other than appearing in a film segment called The ABCs of Death.
In this piece, a man is in a hospital, when his skin tissue gets scalped off to be used as a 35mm film reel. He is kept inside a cage in the center of a room instead of being left in a medical facility. As a consequence, people were free to surround him, take pictures, and even lick him? With time, however, he manages to escape and biometrically disfigures everyone in his way.
The grim details of each segment, Srdjan Spasojevic almost perfectly captures in this work in progress. With this film, he successfully set up a concept, and then simultaneously tore it down. Instead of Bloodbath: The Movie gory head explosions, which is what he is greatly known for, I would prefer Srdjan Spasojevic to actually try to expand his horizons. It is often debated if Spasojevic is capable of producing a magnificent piece of art. What I do know, however, is that while this Serbian film is the hardest work of cinema I have ever come across, and quite frankly A Serbian Film is not that dreadful, it still left me shocked and horrified. But, there is a chance of having decent expectations over Spasojevic’s work, if he distances himself from shock, torture, and horror.
Considered as a contemporary spaghetti western, For Speed centers around a woman and her kidnapper as they try to escape from a malevolent demon. Imagine ‘Death Proof’, only less taunting, as there are no monitors present to temper with your senses. The director Jake West ingeniously manages to incorporate an effective twist within the plot that gives the chase film a distinct touch. Personally, I figured the direction the film was leaning towards from the get go, yet the craftsmanship was praiseworthy.
Even though nothing outstanding is on offer, the portrayal of this short was fairly decent. The chase sequences last around 10 seconds, but due to the duration of the short, the ending is pretty self satisfying.
The use of Claymation to depict the murderous toilet monster in this short is exceptionally creative. The animation is done immaculately, with the best portions being around the climax. It definitely captures the ‘bloody’ essence, while maintaining a sense of dark humor, which makes it impeccably entertaining. I have done a poor job of managing my expectations when watching this short, but nonetheless, it is starting to grow on me.
Like most other shorts, this one is also devoid of a plot, with a vignette structure. It documents the life of a vampire that is uncovered and attacked. In this continuous shot, the viewer gets to bear witness everything from the vampire being captured to being attacked. One more point of view attempt fails to impress as there are no other opinions to examine unlike the rest. The only thing worth talking about are the fire orange illumination coming in through the walls which highlights the other lighting techniques. The cornered vampire gets decapitated and defeated pretty easily too.
It’s 2035, and Vancouver’s robot police are quelling a militia uprising. Notably, the choreography is well done in this fighting scene. As per the narrative, illegal population control is a dire issue for the society of the future. The authorities stumble upon a family that has illegally populated, and they try to capture them. The mother attempts some Jedi mind tricks, and it’s clear that the robots don’t fall for it. The family is torn to pieces, and even greater madness breaks loose.
In a five minute short, the sequence is undeniably audacious, yet it’s bogging from a fundamental standstill. Besides the action scenes, the film is devoid of anything insightful and interesting.
A warlock alongside a demon abducts a bespectacled lady attempting to escape, strip away her clothing, and butcher her while a brave knight crushes a wall with his own gauntlet and gets shocked. As a one minute animation, this certainly sets a bizarre tone for the rest of the film. Then it changes to a scene where the directors are fighting with each other, which is not only a humorous scene on its own, but there is also a ridiculous level of satire that stems from that snippet and something about the film’s premise (which, to be clear, should earn ridicule). The filmmakers are attacked my zombie clowns while an acid burn level montage begins to roll. It’s beautifully chaotic, while somehow still honoring portions of classic horror, like Invasion of the body snatchers.
Yes, I do support this animation. It’s zany and funny, which is actually a good thing in light of this flick.
For being overweight, a lady is scorned by nearly all the people she meets. This is odd because a)she is not that overweight and b)very few people are that viciously cruel in real life. When she gets back home, she quite literally crosses the limits as she pours some unidentified fat and buttery food into her mouth. She then undresses and goes to the bathroom, where she attempts at some low grade liposuction and facial surgery, looking forward to reasonable outcomes.
X is for XXL is a gross out horror with a weakly hidden social commentary don’t make fun of over weight people. However, the most intriguing part is the parallel narrative containing the protagonist and the bikini commercial model, but it is not really worth all the hardcore violence generated as a result of horrific social interactions.
A sex offender instructs a young boy in the art of hunting. It’s not exactly Hobo with a Shotgun, Jason Eisener, but the framing and the 80’s montage music were fun for me. And that janitor is alarmingly scary. This short is disturbingly gross, creepy, violent and scary all at the same time. I almost regret acknowledging it, but this rape revenge flick was entertaining. This one does a better job than the other shorts in this anthology by tackling the uncomfortable subject matter without becoming grossly sensationalized, as the others do.
More Nazis…sort of. I’m not sure what is happening in this vignette. There is a Dr. Strangelove impersonator, naked women, and maggots that are devouring people’s faces. And a huge phallic symbol, which was utilized for…well, I don’t wish to go into that. Apparently, this one focuses on American race relations in the country…? The twist is that it’s actually a cooking show.
The action shorts that were included in the anthology are better choreographed when compared to the remaining action scenes here. And this is all there is to it one booby punch and a genital catapult. I think this line of dialogue will sum it all up nicely: ‘We yellow people love tangerines’. Magical, no? Or maybe it is not, and I cannot do anything to patch that gap.
On a broader scale, this film has an underlying conceptual idea that has potential. It does sound appealing in theory to ‘collect 26 film directors from every country and make an anthology’ this way. But if the producers cut it down to 10 filmmakers instead, and each one took their time to build a narrative into each of their segments, this motion picture could have been way more enjoyable. During the initial release, the producers must have known they were planning to make a sequel, so why not produce the first part of ‘The ABCs of Death,’ which covers the first 10 letters. This would ensure that the concept had a franchise and that quality vignettes could have been drawn from it.
Likewise, it seems that the tone of this movie is everywhere. You cannot just switch from an animated short of killer poop to a short about deadly underground masturbation tournaments. I get that the directors got free reign on this, but they could at least be restricted to either serious or humorous. The tone shifts were too abrupt for my liking, and they completely took me out of the film.
Apart from that, so far, I have only one other positive thing to say about this film as a whole, and it is the transitions from segment to segment. I liked the way the initial shots started dissolving in. That is all the compliments that I can give. But hey, at least I know my alphabet now.
To watch more movies like (The ABCs Of Death (2012)) visit 123Movies.
Also Watch for more movies like:
