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Here we have the third part of the mega shark saga ‘Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark’ and believe me, this is by far the worst of the sequels. It is amazing how a movie about a 200-foot Megalodon fighting with a giant robot shark-shaped death machine can be so boring, but then again, this film really did manage to achieve that.
The Asylum’s productions always give off a good first impression, but it is very much skin deep like a hobo dressed in K-Y Jelly. I mean, the hobo would appear well-groomed and cleaned up but would be nothing more than someone who had cleaning showered over. Who would do that to a homeless person? The best answer is none, but whatever the case might be, it is very disappointing. What I mean to say is, this movie has that wow factor, but it’s very much shallow.
Rosie and Jack, the main characters of the story, are a married couple who built an AI-operated mechanical shark named Nero. Some moron drags a giant iceberg into a port where our dear friend Mega Shark resides. As per the procedure, everything goes crazy and Mega Shark belly flops onto a whole fleet of aircraft carriers. It gets wild. Debbie Gibson, as Dr. Emma, brings yet even newer levels of what the fuck into the plot by occasionally interrupting the action for helpful tips.
The focus here is on the mechanized monsters. Forget the story and the characters for they are no more than superficial decoration on a turd. The GPU produced a more polished edition of the shark robot dubbed Mecha. They plug Nero into its circuits and pursue the Mega.
During the running time of this film, which is roughly an hour too long, some enjoyable things occur. One oil platform suffers from an accident and outpours oil into the sea. That, however, is not the enjoyable part. It’s the Event Horizon. That’s the enjoyable part. Oh and at one point, Mega goes for a great leap off the ground and tries to grab an airplane. Mecha decks into the sky to meet him and there’s a shark in a mid-air collision. Okay, so those are for the enjoyable parts.
Dr Emma is pretty certain that Mega is cruising towards Sydney harbor considering that it is the sight of a megalodon spawning ground from the dinosaur age. Mega is apparently angsty and frisky because there just so happens to be no other Megalodons on this planet for him to mate with. The Nero-controlled Mecha breaches the Sydney Opera House and goes berserk. He turns on amphibious mode and turns into a big ass tank-shark. Not a shark tank like an aquarium.
A shark TANK. Evil. Carnage.
So, in order to piss off the Mega, Rosie jumps straight into the Mecha. Rather than a program, she begins emitting a high-frequency noise that would annoy the Mega. The Mecha would actually be perceived as a threat to the Mega’s mating prowess, so he’ll attack it, and proceed to blow up. But, she gets stuck in the ass end of the robot shark “chum tank.” The military only rains bombs onto the Mecha so he is knocked back into the water. Jack goes to grab the original mecha shark and swims inside the bigger mecha shark, ascending to the next floor and somehow rebooting the system so Nero has his control back. From the looks of it, Mecha is experiencing a really heavy period flow and somehow Rosie gets menstruated into the sea for everyone to awkwardly witness.
Naturally, everything goes according to the plan and the Mega and Mecha blow up in a cataclysmic explosion. Spoiler alert nobody. Everyone knows how these movies end.
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