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Just like the creators of “Return to the Blue Lagoon,” during the movie’s production, these film-makers followed a well understood process entailed great intricacies. In the very first film made in 1980, there was a boy and girl who were “castaways” on an island that was lost. Their parents had built a cottage on the island and attempted to teach them the skills needed to survive. Eventually they died, leaving the children to learn how to fend for themselves and transforming the two into gorgeous adolescents (Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins) who were romanced by studying how a giant sea turtle made love. “Everything we have to look forward to,” Pauline Kael reported, “is: When are these two going to discover fornication?” “Return to the Blue Lagoon” picks up not long after the couple set off from the island in their boat and died in the ocean with their infant son.
A ship that was passing by spots the boat and rescues the baby. A widow on the boat (Lisa Pelikan) with a daughter take in the baby as the widow’s daughter is of similar age. It is later revealed that the ship is infected with plague. The captain understands that the only option he has to save the widow and children is to leave them at the mercy of the sea. Without his action, these three women would surely perish due to the plague.
The mother, along with her two kids, now on a tiny boat, float away only to wash up on the shore of the same island. The cottage is still standing, and the comforts of home are still in place. All that needs to be done is for the story to unfold. The mother raises the children until they are independent, dies, and the children grow into beautiful tan young adults (Milla Jovovich and Brian Krause). The only thing to look forward to, as Pauline Kael stated with such accuracy, is: When will these two romantically engage? At least the original “Blue Lagoon” had a level of discipline in its composition. This creation makes things worse by having a ship discover the island, which has, as expected, a young woman who has taken a liking to the hero and a bearded sailor who is trouble. This leads to the anticipated events where the hero with the heroine resolves that they actually prefer each other the most, and the wicked sailor suffers a horrible fate – say, for instance, he gets devoured by a shark.
One of the most mysterious elements in the film is the appearence of natives on the other side of the island. These particular natives are said to appear every full moon, they create a lot of drumming noise, and leave afloat in the mornings. There are some warnings about staying away from that side of the island and not leaving the house during full moon nights, but the presence of the natives do not really do anything. It is rather strange that the filmmakers seemed to do not know where to go with the story after the drumming. They felt they had to include some drums but wanted to take it nowhere.
The idiocy of this film is so deep, there is no need to appreciate it. Instead, the “Return to the Blue Lagoon” attempts to mirror the soft core porn innovation of the previous installment, but rather than doing that, every single one of them became part of a new categorization called no-core porn.
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